The Randoms
by lalarandoms
Summary: A bunch of random drabbles/one-shots, some may be fluff and some may be smut. Rating will vary.
1. Beach Babe

**Rating: T**

She's a beach bum, well more like a beach babe.

The sun radiated down on her, claiming her, now tan skin. She laid perfectly on the beach towel that was laid out on the warm white sand of Bora Bora. Dark black shades covered her piercing blues that matched the warm ocean water. This was her bliss. The ocean waves calming her soul while the sun warmed her small curvy body, this was her version of heaven. And she was Olivia's version of heaven.

"Like what you see?" The blonde teased.

Olivia chuckled, turning her body to the side. Her brown eyes that hide behind her shades scanned the blonde's body. "Always."

Amanda turned her head, she couldn't hide her smile and the blushing from her tan cheeks. "Oh yeah?" She playfully asked.

She sat up, removed her sunglasses and slowly began to untie her orange bikini top. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hold back her chuckle when she saw Olivia's jaw drop. Finally, after untying the back, she slipped off her top and threw it on the side. Her nipples harden at the tiny cool ocean breeze. "So, do you like what you see now?" She asked seductively, leaning in closer to the older woman, who had now sat up. Their lips were so close, barely touching but enough to feel each other's hot breath on top of their lips. Olivia swallowed hard at the sight of Amanda's tongue licking slowly at her bottom lip.

"Love it." Olivia breathed out.

"Do you want some?" Amanda purred.

Speechless, Olivia nodded her head as she removed her sunglasses, and their eyes finally locked in a deep gaze. She leaned in closer, her lips craving to kiss blondes, but was only to find that Amanda had run off. She turned to see the bare-chested blonde running into the water, crashing into the waves, laughing. The way the ocean waves crash into her small frame body, and how the sun perfectly traces her curves, pictured her as an angelic beach babe.

Her jaw dropped. Amanda held her bikini bottom up high, swinging it back and forth, with a large smirk on her face. Her body covered with the clear blue ocean water. "Come and get it!" She yelled out. And without even thinking Olivia stood up, and began to run towards the ocean.

"Here I come!"

 **Leave a comment/review, if you'll like some more!**


	2. Mothers Day

**Rating: K**

Saying that she was nervous, would be a complete understatement.

She finished fixing Noah's bow tie, that matches his outfit. He wore black shorts with integral braces, white button up shirt and a red bow tie. His hair was nicely done, comb over to the side. "I big boy, mommy!" He squealed as he looked at himself in the full-length mirror.

"Yes, are you baby boy." She chuckled.

"No, not a baby! Big boi!" He reminded, his tiny little index finger pointed at her.

Olivia threw her hands up in defense "Oh, I am sorry big boy." Laughing at her son's pleased smile.

"How does mommy look?" Olivia asked her son as she looked herself in the mirror.

"Bootiful." He exclaimed.

"Thank you, my love." She picked up her son and placed a small kiss on top of his head. "We have to go, sweetie. Amanda and Jesse are waiting for us at the bunch." She placed her son down. "I don't know about you, but I am hungry!"

Noah giggles at his mother's exaggerated hunger gesture.

"Mommy, Manda! Jessie!" Noah hollered in excitement, pointing out the back patio of the restaurant. Olivia smiled as she watched her son run into her girlfriend's open arms. It made her heart flutter and warm, watching them interact so lovely and so playfully.

Reaching the table, stood back as Noah broke their hug and went over to baby seat that Jesse sitting on, she wore the cutest light pink dress with a matching hair band. Olivia was greeted with a pair of loving blue eyes, and soon her lips were pressed against the sweet lips of Amanda's. Pulling back, she took in the sight of her. Amanda stood tall in her light pink sleeveless lace top with a float bottom knee length dress, matched with white open toe heels, and her beautiful blonde hair straighten with soft loose curls on the end.

Amanda took her breath away, not just now but every day.

Unable to wait any longer, Olivia placed the beautifully wrapped colorful flowers on the table next to her and dropped down to one knee. Her brown eyes looked up at the shocked blue eyes staring down at her, taking Amanda's left hand.

"I had this all planned out but I couldn't wait any longer." She confessed, taking a deep breath in as her nerves heighten. "On this Mother's Day, I want nothing more than the love of my life to become Noah's other mother, and to be Jesse's other mother. I love you with all my being, more than you could ever imagine." She swallowed the ball of tears that threatened to come out, her eyes remained locked on the now watery blue eyes.

"Amanda Elizabeth Rollins, will you marry me?"

Speechless and full of emotions, Amanda nodded her head _'yes'_ as tears ran down her cheeks, watching her newly fiancé slid the beautifully diamond ring on her ring finger. She popped Olivia up and claimed her lips, kissing her sweetly and passionately as the restaurant crowd clapped and hollered around them.

 **Hope you enjoyed, and happy mothers day to all your mommy's and all of you who are mommies! Don't forget to leave some r/r!**


	3. Poker

**Rating: K**

She smirked as she shuffled the deck of cards in hand, her eyes never leaving the woman across from her.

"You think it's a good idea, for a recovered gambling addict to play poker?"

Amanda laughed softly, "I'm not gambling, and this is for fun..well at least for me because we both know I am going to beat you."

Olivia rolled her eyes, taking the cards that were placed in front of her. She smirked at the cards in hand. "We'll see about that."

"Same rules apply?" Amanda asked, her eyes focused on the cards on hand.

"Yep, same rules." Olivia husked while her brown eyes observed the focused blonde in front of her.

"Good." She answered firmly, arranging her cards. "And what were the rules, again? I need a fresher." She teased, her eyes lifted up to meet the brown eyes staring back at her.

"Strip poker, whoever has the most clothes on wins, and the winner will do whatever they want with the loser." She breathe out, sounding annoyed as her eyes rolled.

"Sounds right." She smirked. "Are you ready to lose the game and your clothes?" Her eyebrow raised as she took a swig of her cold beer.

"Mm, we'll see about that." Olivia mutter.

Amanda winked at the brunette as she anted "You know five cents doesn't seem like enough when I'm playing with a woman as pretty as you."

Olivia blushed as she put her chip in the middle, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder baby." She replied.

Amanda smiled as she put a blue chip in the pot."I bet 25 cents. But I bet a lot more that I'm gonna see your bra in a minute."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Well I see your 25 cents and I raise you 25 cents." She smirked as she put two blue chips in the pot.

"Feeling lucky are we now Lieutenant" Amanda chuckled, taking a swig of her beer. "I will take two cards m'lady."

The blonde put down two cards as Olivia handed her two from the deck, their hands brushed gently against each other as Amanda reached for the cards. Their eyes met for a moment, the love between them unmistakeable. Olivia smiled as she laid down two cards.

"I'll also take two." The brunette took two cards from the deck.

"Alright, I bet 50 cents" the blonde detective confirmed as she put down two blue chips.

"I see your 50 cents and I raise you 50 cents. "The older woman laid four blue chips in the pot.

"Alright, Lieutenant what do you have," Amanda smirked, leaning back in her chair with her cards in hand.

"Full House". The brunette grinned.

Amanda laughed "Well I hope you won't get cold with your shirt off, because I have a royal flush" Amanda laid her cards down, smiling happily.

Olivia groaned as Amanda took her winnings. Slowly, meeting the blonde's eyes, she removed her shirt slowly, grinning at the darkening of the younger woman's eyes. She dropped her top on the floor, her purple lace bra exposed. "Like what you see detective?" Olivia smirked.

"I do. I can't wait to see more of it." She smirked.

A few losing hands and a few glasses of wine later, Olivia found herself nude. She had lost, and she had lost bad, but that is what you get for playing against a former gambling addict. She sat on her chair, the poker table between them, she can feel Amanda's dark lust blue eyes scanning her body. She felt like a nervous virgin that was about to be fed to a horny teenage boy, but it was close enough because Amanda was the closest thing to a teenage boy when it came to her sexual drive.

"You win." She admitted in defeat.

Amanda nodded her head, her tongue licking her bottom lip." I sure did." She stood up wearing only her high school basketball shorts and a green bra.

She walked over to Olivia, her eyes never leaving the curvy olive nude body in front of her. "I'm getting the handcuffs, I expect you be laying on that table when I get back." She demanded.

Olivia's eyes followed the blonde as she walked past her and headed to her bedroom.

"Yes, ma'am".

 **Shout out to my dear friend for helping me with the poker scene, you're the best!** **Leave a comment/review, if you'll like some more!**


	4. Only Thing

**Rating: K**

 _"The only thing I want is you."_

They stood under the pouring rain in the middle of the New York streets. It was dead, the streets were dead and the night had fallen. The night was fuzzy, foggy, too many drinks along with too many emotions. What started a night of fun at their usual dive bar, had turned to shoutfest between the two female detectives. Jealously brewing over them, neither of them wanting to admit their feelings for each other but yet not wanting anyone else to have the other.

It was havoc.

Chaotic.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. The night was supposed to be nothing but drinking and playing pool against each other but the flirting between the men brought out the secret buried inside, the lust they refused to admit, or even knowledge. Each woman stood by their men, watching the other flirt and show affection to them while the jealousy boiled. The hot heat of anger began at their fingertips running through every inch of their body, until it fell on the back of their neck, behind their ears. Knowing damn well that it would have been the other woman kissing their lips, touching their soft skin and playing with their hair. It should have been them pushing the other against the wall before claiming their sweet lips as their hands working up under their shirt. And after one too many drinks and shot, every touch and kiss they received looked rough and unwanted. Then screaming began, the cussing to have him back off of her had begun. Pushing him off her, and pulling her closer, only to have her pull away from you. Telling you to ' fuck off.'

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

And now here they were, in the middle of the fucking street in the pouring raining, crying their eyes out because every emotion they held so deep inside came out in the worst possible way. Standing only one foot away from each other, their clothing clinging on to their bodies, make up running and their hair completely drenched as the rain continued to pour on to them. Their eyes remain locked into one other, blue meeting brown; lust, hurt and angry hide behind them. Heart beating radically and chest rising up and down rapidly, trying desperately to catch their breath. Tears ran down their cheeks, and the carving to kiss her lips, to feel her soft skin on top of hers, to taste every inch of her body was becoming overpowering. Maybe it was the excessive alcohol they had but the burning desire was coming out, the long nights she dreamt of her, with her hand between her legs, calling out her name.

Closing their eyes, they remember shot glasses being thrown. Shouting at Nick and Brian to get the fuck away from her, the fear and confusion in their eyes didn't faze them. They tried to protect the person they loved. The person they wanted to be with. The person their heart and body craved for. Nothing else matter but her.

Stepping closer, blonde and brunette now arm length. Shaky hands reaching out to brush each other's wet lock behind their ear. And like a magnet, their lips claimed the others as their hands fell on each other sides. The pure ecstasy of their shape-shifting mouths swirling and puckering with each delicious smack of escaping air overcame their entire body as shaky hands roamed each other bodies, studying very curve of the body that god had perfectly created. The world stood still, nothing else mattered but, them.

Hesitant to break their kiss, but knowing they were each in much need of air, they pull apart not allowing their eyes to break their lock. Her bright blue eyes turned dark blue, and her lover's turned to almost black, it was pure ecstasy. Their foreheads never leaving each other and their breathing didn't seem to slow down, their eyes remain locked into their gaze. Olivia swallowed hard as she felt her heart beat become harder and faster, her chest dramatically going up and down. Refusing to let go of the blonde in front of her, who was also struggling to gasp for air but never letting go of her brunette lover.

 _"The only thing I want is you."_

 **Leave a comment/review, if you want more!**


	5. Sticky Fingers

**Rating: M**

"Uh," she moaned out in a low whisper.

She was pushed against the metal table, hard. The door has been locked shut and the windows blinds have shut, the only source of light came from the barred window. Her hands held the table behind her, so tight that her knuckles had turned red.

Soft moans passed her dry lips, her breathing becoming difficult as her arousal continue to heighten. A pair of soft hands larger than hers roam her body before their fingers quickly worked on her buttons of her shirt, ripping it off her, and exposing her white lace bra underneath. "Fuck" she moaned as a pair of lips claimed her neck, and Amanda's hands falls behind the brown locks. She bites her bottom lip hard, trying to hold back her loud moans, when Olivia's hand slipped so easily down on the front of her pants and through her panties, while her lips reminded on her neck.

"You're so wet." Olivia purred into Amanda's ear.

The echo of her belt buckle hitting against the metal table rang in Amanda's ears. "Quick, we only have a few minutes before the guys get back." She breathed out.

Pantsless, she was lifted on top of the metal table. Olivia claiming her lips as her tongue traced her bottom lip, Amanda quickly granting her access. Amanda's body shook at the coldness and the feel of Olivia's thumbs slipping on each side of the lace thong. Their tongue dance in hurry and heated passion of ecstasy. She lifted her bottom up as Olivia quickly slid her panties off her. Breaking the kiss, Amanda props her elbows on the table, keeping her up as she leaned back as she watched the older woman fall down to her knees.

"Fuckk" she softly moaned out. Olivia wasting little time, wrapped her tongue around the blonde's throbbing clit; sucking it gently as two of her fingers slipping Amanda's wet center. Olivia moaned at the feel of Amanda's hand on her head, her fingers wrapped around her brown locks, forcefully pushing her face closer to her. Her fingers continued the pulsing come here motion on Amanda's g stop, going faster with every moan and hair pulling she gets, as her tongue works the blonde's aching clit.

"Mmmm, Livvvv fukkkk" Amanda said between her heavy breathing, her body shaking and wanting to give out. Olivia couldn't help but let out a smirk, hearing the moans from her blonde lover was music to her ears, the hair pulling turned Olivia on more than she'll like to admit.

"Ahhh...I'm… clo...close"

Olivia's brown eyes flicked up, the view above her was breathtaking. Amanda's eyes closed, biting her bottom lip, her chest rising up and down, and her breathing is heavy. "Open your eyes." She commended the blonde. Lustful brown eyes met pleading blue eyes. "Cum for me baby." Olivia's whisper before her tongue once again claiming the sensitive clit. Her fingers moving harder and rougher, much like how Amanda loves it when she's close. Her moans were getting louder and her gripping gotten tighter around the brown locks, as Olivia motions gotten harder. Wetness dripped between her shakes legs, as she roughly grinded herself against Olivia's wet tongue. She brought her hand to her mouth and bit into her skin, holding back her need to scream out as she felt her toes curl. The wetness exploded from her, she trembled. Her body shook uncontrollably and her heart beat out of her chest.

"Mmmm" Olivia hummed against Amanda's dripping wet folds.

Olivia walked out of the interrogation room, wiping the edge of her mouth with her tongue as she closed the door behind her when she dumped into Fin.

"Hey Liv, the lawyer is here. Want Amanda and me to take it?" He asked.

Olivia couldn't help but smile."Uh, Amanda is taking a breather. Let me go wash my hands and I'll meet you there in a second."

Fin arched his eyebrow,"wash your hands?"

Olivia chuckled." Yeah, uh-my fingers are all sticky."

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	6. Lost

**Rating: K**

 _'There was a lot of vascular damage, but we stopped the bleeding for now.'_

 _'Can I see her?'_

 _'She's still in surgery.'_

 _'There's a risk of sepsis and organ failure, but if we get through the next few hours…'_

 _'What?'_

 _'Lieutenant, if you haven't reached out already, any family members who should be here... you should get them here.'_

 _'Okay, thank you, Doctor.'_

 _'Are there any... any calls I can make? Family?_ '

 _'She, uh they're estranged.'_

 _Beep...beep..beep.._

 _Flatline_

Olivia shot up from the sound of her alarm, waking her up from her nightmare. The same nightmare she'd had for six months. Only, it wasn't a nightmare. Six months ago, due to her careless decision, she lost one of her squad members. Every day she walks into the squad room and sees that empty desk, that nobody could get themselves to empty; she was reminded of her loss. Her body trembled violently, she shook up and down, her chest tightened, and her headache worsened as she broke down. Painful loud sobs came crashing out of her; unstoppable tears ran down her cheeks that opened floods gate and create an ocean of tears. Olivia began to gasp for air; her hard sobs made it difficult for her to breathe. She placed her hand on her chest and took deep breathes in attempts to calm herself, but it was no avail. The heartache of losing someone who you deep down you love and cherish is indescribable. It was a love that she had pushed away and burned deep down in the fiery pit within her. And it was a love that she had only truly recognized and had come out at the loss of her. It was her death that made Olivia realize that she had fallen in love with her, but it was too late. She will never be able to feel what true love is, to feel the soft lips on top of hers, or touch the smooth milk porcelain skin.

"Fuck" she whimpered, finally calming herself down...well attempting to. She reached out toward her night stand and grabbed a picture frame, and placed it on her lap. Taking her fingers, she gently caresses the glass frame. Again defeated, tears rolled down her cheeks once again as her fingertips delicately traced the figure in the picture. It was a picture that the blonde had given to her. A picture she took on Easter with her daughter, they wore matching sundresses. Jesse is smiling like a happy baby as the Easter bunny handed her a plastic bright pink Easter egg. Suddenly, without any warning, Olivia broke down again. Her shoulders shook up and down as the loud and chest hurting sobs came out of her. "I miss you," she sobbed.

Dusk had arrived as the sun began to set. The cool breeze blew her long brown locks, mangled across her face while goosebumps crawled her skin. An overwhelming feeling of sadness and guilt fell on her chest. Her shaky hand removed her mangled locks from her face, pushing it behind her ear. Olivia's brown eyes lost at the gravestone in front of her. She shook her head, trying to shake the memories that reminded her of the night in the hospital that Amanda had passed. She tried to remove beeping sound with the sudden flatline from her head, a sudden flashback of her being in the blue cold hospital room when Amanda's heart stopped.

"Mama."

Jesse soft voice broke her from the nightmare; her focus turned to the little one she held on her hip, pointing at her mother's gravestone. "Yes, mama, baby girl." She cooed at the small child.

Olivia kneed down slowly, setting Jesse down next to the gravestone. "Should we give your mama her flowers?" She asked softly as tears began to roll down on her cheeks.

"Mama."

Olivia took Jessie and sat her on her lap, placing a soft kiss on the top of her soft blonde baby hair. Her heart ached, even more, knowing that Amanda will not be here to see her daughter grow up, to become the best woman that she could be. Olivia held Jesse's hand with hers, both placing a freshly wrapped and cut of red and white roses on top the gravestone. Her brown eyes were mesmerized at the engraved stone as her fingertips delicately traced Amanda's name, the memories of their relationship flooding back at her. "I'm sorry." She whispered through her tears, keeping a tight grip on Jesse, who was wanting to break free from her hold.

She pushed back the golf ball of hard sobs, threatening to come out. "I'm sorry that I wasn't honest with you. That I couldn't express my feelings..." her cries became painfully hard. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I love you, I am in love you...an..and it took your death to make me realize that." Her breathing became challenging. "I feel so lost without you. Why…. why did you leave me? Why did you leave Jesse?" Olivia shouted through her tears.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault…it's my fault that you're not here."

Jesse turned and wiped the tears from Olivia's cheeks with her little hands causing a small smile to grow on Olivia's face and she placed a wet kiss on the little one's forehead. "I promise Amanda, to take care of your baby girl. She will always know who her mama is; you will always be in her heart and in her mind. I promise." Taking her index and middle finger, she placed them on her lips for a kiss and returned to the gravestone in front of her.

"I love you."

 **Don't forget to leave a comment/review down below.**


	7. Woods

**Rating: T**

The moonlight shined through the tall trees, the hooting of owls appeared to be following them. Branch breaking and leave crushing sound sent chills down their spines. It was colder than usual; they were able to see their breathes in the air whenever they spoke. Using a flashlight and the stars as their guide, they shuffled through dark woods, hand in hand.

'Manda, maybe this isn't such a good idea.' Olivia mumbles under her breath, clutching on tight to her girlfriend's hand.

'We're almost there.' Amanda replied, leading them further into woods.

Finally, they've reached up to the pathway overgrown grass, which led up to an old two story home. The house looks like it was falling apart, the windows covered in dust and cobwebs, and frames were of rotten wood. The roof looked perfect from where they were standing, with brown or gray patches of moss or lichen. Gingerly, and for the most part in silence, they walked closer to the home. Olivia's arms wrapped tightly around Amanda's left arm while trying to keep the flashlight focused on the direction they were heading.

"It's okay," Amanda whispered to her girlfriend.

Amanda carefully pushed the open web infested door as she slowly stepped into the home. The echoing of their footsteps invaded the silence of the home. A cloud of dust collected as they walked deeper into the home, reaching the what it seem was the living room.

"It looks like they just picked up and left, everything is still where it was left," Olivia commented, shaky from the cold. "Can we please go? "

Amanda turned to face her girlfriend, "You said that whatever I did back home on Friday the 13th, that you will do."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Yes, but I didn't think it would be going to some random abandoned house in the middle of the fucking woods." she breathes out shaky.

"It's nothing to be afraid of, I have done this ton of times back home. Don't be such a baby!"

Amanda let go of Olivia's grip and started to explore the home, making her way up the creaking stairs. Brushing the cobwebs from her face, she enters the attic. It looked much like the downstairs; everything left behind. A dusty rotten perfectly made bed, pictures of the family hung on the molded web infested wall. She flashed her light on the dirty frame; it appeared to be a happy family of three. Mother, father, and young little girl, around the age of seven. She turned her light to the room as she walked past the bed, her blue eyes scanning the toys that were left behind. Creepy dolls sat perfectly on the windowsill; she reached out to grab one when suddenly…

"BOO!"

A high pitch scream came out of the blonde as she jumps ten feet in the air, her heart racing.

"Who's the baby, now?" Olivia chuckled as she reached out to hug her girlfriend, who was desperately trying to catch her breath.

Amanda bent forward, her hands between her legs. "I peed my pants."

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	8. Scared

**Rating: T**

 **Requested: Amy**

 **Prompt: Alternative ending to 15.17- Gambler's Fallacy**

 _You know, Lieutenant Murphy may trust you. I don't. And, if we weren't so short-staffed, I'd transfer you. Today._

 _I'd deserve that. I don't know if I can get back into your good graces, but I'm gonna try, sergeant._

 _Okay. We're done here._

It kept replaying in her head like a broken record player. The hurt and distrust behind the brown eyes haunted her, even scared her. She was pissed off at herself for even getting into that situation, if only she would have gone to a meeting, if only she did something else…. anything but gamble. But her father genes crawled under her skin like some fucking disease, that she cannot erase. And like her father, she had lost the person she loved, all because of jealousy and this addiction she cannot shake off.

Amanda took another swig of her beer; she sat staring at the black television screen, replaying what happened a couple of hours ago in her sergeant office. How the fuck did she let it get this far? Was her father's demon far deep in her that it blinds her common sense? She was tired of crying, she tired of everything. Everything around was suffocating her, falling into the bottomless pit. _Fuck_ she thought to herself, taking another swig of her beer to finish the rest.

Amanda got up from her couch and started walked towards her kitchen when the sudden knocking on her front door took her by surprise. She turned, walking towards the door, slowly. Worried, almost. Having a few drinks alone makes her a tad bit paranoid.

"Who is it?" She asked softly but with much caution, her hands delicately placed on her door.

"It's me."

Her eyes widen in surprise and confusion. And quickly, she walked to her kitchen sink and washed her face to get somewhat sober. After drying her face with a paper towel, leaving the used sheet crumbled next to the sink; she headed back to the door. Shaky hands, she reaches for the door knob while the other unlocks the bolt. Slowly opening the door, Amanda locked eyes with the same hurt filled brown eyes, she left hours ago.

"Come in." She whispered, stepping aside. Her blue eyes carefully watched the tall brunette step into her apartment, slowly closing the door behind her. "Would you..uh..would you like something to drink?" She nervously asked the older woman whose back was facing her.

Slowly, she made her way to her kitchen, leaning against her brown marble counters, arms crossed; protecting herself from any more hurt. Her breathing hitched at the vision before, Olivia turned to face her, her watery brown eyes started deadly right at her.

"Do you know how I scared I was?" Olivia quietly asked tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Olivia…"

"I know...I know, we agreed in ending our flinging and whatever..." her voice was soft, cracking through her tears. "but I still care. I have ever stopped caring." She confessed.

Amanda dared herself to rush over there and take Olivia into her arms and just hold her tight. Kiss her lips and tell her how sorry she was for fucking up but she couldn't move. She stood frozen, feeling her tears rolled down her cheeks.

"And what hurts the most was that you felt, that you couldn't come to me when you had the urge. I thought you trusted me."

"I do, always have and always will." Amanda finally cracked out, pushing through her tears and sniffs.

Olivia observed the blonde in front of her. She looked so small, and fragile. Her head hung low, her blue eyes hidden, and that bruise on her cheek...damn near killed her. "Then why didn't you come to me?" She asked, pleading softly.

"You have Brian. "

Olivia shook her head, "no, that's bullshit."

Amanda lifted her head, her blue eyes meeting with pleading brown eyes. "It's not. You have him, and I am not going to mess anything because I can't handle my problems."

She stepped closer as her hands reached out to the blonde in front of her, brown eyes never leaving blue. She felt how naturally their hands intertwine, like a perfect puzzle piece. Olivia felt the same tingly feeling that she had felt before when they first held hands during their undercover. It was a feeling that she never felt before, and it was feeling inside of her, that she tried finding with Brian. Gently, she pulled the younger woman closer to her, closing their gap. Their heat radiated between them as nervous traveled through every inch of their body. Matching heart beats and breathing patterns, it was this feeling of being so alive and so at the moment, that she had never felt before until she met Amanda. It scared, terrified her. Olivia released her left hand, slowly brought it up to Amanda's right cheek. Her fingertips are gently caressing and tracing the bruise. Her heart aches at sight before her. The hurt, guilt, and disappointment that Amanda was feeding off.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Amanda shook her head, "No, it's okay. My fault."

Olivia leaned in, closing the little gap between them. Their foreheads touch, her eyes flicked down to the blonde's lips and back up to her blue eyes. Her hands fell to Amanda's small waist as her head tilt, their lips barely touched. "I wish you knew how I much I care, Amanda." She whispered. "How much I think about you…think about us." her brown eyes locked with Amanda's. "You scared me, so much."

"I'm sorry." Her breath hitch at the touch of Olivia's soft lips pressed against hers, and their tongue is quickly claiming the others. Their shape-shifting mouths heated with passion and eagerness as their hands roamed each other's body, feeling every curve that they had missed. The kiss was intoxicating and breathtaking, every ounce of energy from their body had sucked out from this every kiss. They were each in much need of air; they pull apart slowly not allowing their eyes to break their lock.

 _I love you."_

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	9. Good Girl

**Rating: M**

The moonlight traced her smooth olive body, it shined over her nude body. It fell on her long neck; you see her pulse beating in ecstasy. The glimmer shine that followed down her chest showing off her hard nipples. She laid in the middle of the bed, on top of the black satin sheets, with her hands above her head. Her brown eyes mesmerized at the blonde standing in front of her bed with a smirk on her face, nude. Her eyes followed soft milk skin, tracing the curves that stood before her. Her blonde locks that dipped down her delicate neck, teasing her in a manner she never knew existed. Her body trembled as the blonde crawled slowly in the bed. She crawled between her legs, her lips so close to heat, teasing her. Blowing onto her already throbbing and wet clit causing a soft moan to escape.

Brown eyes met hungry blue eyes.

She hovered over her body, the faint vanilla scent fogged her mind. A pair of small lips captured hers, her strawberry tongue pushed into her mouth, quickly claiming hers. She broke their kiss, her teeth gently nibbling and pulling on to her bottom lip before pulling away. Olivia, shivered at the warm tongue against her neck, the tip tracing up behind her ear. Goosebumps rise as Amanda's finger traced her stomach, her mouth sucking and nibbling on her neck. Her fingertips slowly trailed the valley between her breast. Her index finger traced around her hard nipple, gently twisting and pulling on it. The lips worked their way down her chest, her tongue soon wrapped around the erect nipple, gently nibbling and sucking on it. Her hands ran through the blonde locks, as their lips worked their way further down south.

"You're soft." She whispered against her skin, her tongue tracing her lover's belly button. "Such a good girl." Her eyes flicked up; she loved the view of her lover arching her back and the low moans coming out of her sweet lips.

Amanda placed soft kisses on Olivia's inner right thigh, listening to the moans becoming louder with each kiss her placed as she reached closer to her heat. Her tongue dragged across the throbbing clit, Olivia's body jerking at the sudden tease. " _Please."_

"Be a good girl, now."

 **Don't forget to leave a comment/review, if you want more!**


	10. Worth It

**Rating: K**

Was it all really worth it?

The late night flirtatious text message.

The pillow talk that rang from one ear to the other.

The sensual sound of her angelic raspy voice that spoke forbidden desires, during late night hours. The soft giggle that came from the other end as her imagination began to run wild. Was it worth the late night meets, underneath the steel bridge? Twelve o'clock on the dot, the bathroom stall waited for the heady unspoken makeout session, the hands that wandered in forbidden areas of the soft flesh beneath them. Was it worth, the heated love making festive that was held on the silk sheets? The sweet taste of her forbidden fruit, the musky scent that laid between her legs, was it worth it?

Is the tears that are rolling down her swollen cheeks, worth it all? Her watery eyes, squinting staring at the event that is being played before her. Was worth the memories that her being replayed in her head, two years of their unspoken love.

Every kiss.

Every touch.

Every fuck.

Every love making night, was nothing more than a dream, a illusion of her imagination. A false reality that she created..no,that they created.

Silence surrounded her, the light that once radiated had died. She watched from afar the cinematic scene in front of her. The young man going down on one knee, holding her lovers left hand under the glowing moonlight. Tears fell endlessly down her face as she watched her lover nod yes, and being held up in the air before her lips were claimed by the man. Their laughter rang her ears, loudly, so much so she swore her eardrums were going to burst.

Olivia lost her.

She lost the love of her life within the matter of seconds. Olivia watched the newly engaged couple walk down the path of Central Park hand in hand into night.

Was it worth?

The heart that had been shattered inside her, the pain that spreaded every inch of her body.

Was it worth, the piece of her soul being ripped from her?

 _" I love you, Amanda."_

Yes, it was worth it.

 **Don't forget to leave a review/comment down below!**


	11. Summer Heat

**Rating: T**

The stars shined bright on the hot summer night; the city lights had powered off due to the massive heat wave causing rolling blackouts. New Yorkers roam the streets trying to cool off any way they could, children's laughter could be heard from the rooftop as they are playing with the water that was shooting out of the fire hydrant, that the local fire department had open for them.

They sat on the edge of the rooftop, their feet dangling in the air, with a cold beer in hand; watching the children run around the fire hydrant. Enjoying the bliss around them, on the hottest day of the summer.

No longer able to handle the heat, Amanda pulled her long sticky blonde hair up in a messy bun. "I can't take this anymore."

Olivia laughed. "I thought this was typical summer weather out in Atlanta?" she chuckled out before taking a sip of her icy beer.

"Uh no. It gets hot but this...this is ridiculous." She replied as she placed her cold beer bottle on the side of her neck, the cool water dripping down the curve of her sweaty neck.

"I'm more consider about Frannie."

Enjoying the cold water that was dripping down her neck, Amanda closed her eyes and laughed to herself. "Frannie is fine. She's laying in a kiddie pool filled ice by the other door. She's fine."

"And we don't have a kiddy pool filled with ice for us because...?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

"Because I only brought one." Amanda chuckled.

"You're a great host," Olivia replied as she got up, adjusting her black yoga shorts walking towards the blue cooler.

Amanda soon followed suit and headed to the cooler herself to grab another cold beer. "Yeah, well. It beats being alone in an apartment that doesn't have a fabulous rooftop like mine."

Olivia rolled eyes at the cheesy response. "Right."

"You're more than welcome to leave." She replied in a sarcastic matter as she sat on the blanket that laid two feet away from the side of the building.

"You're so mean. Maybe I should leave."

Amanda snorted. "Shut up, sit down and drink."

Olivia shook her head but was unable to hide the smile that spread across her face. She sat next to the blonde on the Arabic style blanket with a cold beer in hand.

As the night progresses, the streets became quieter, and the temperature continued to rise. Olivia and Amanda were now laying on the blanket, watching the stars above. Their beer drinking soon leads to a large fresh bottle of Jack Daniels, Amanda's favorite. They laid, drunk, laughing at absolutely nothing as the world began to spin.

"I hate you," Olivia mumbled, her words slurring.

Amanda turned her head to face the older woman that laid next to her. She frowns as the harsh words from the drunk brunette. "Why?!" She asked in a childlike manner, her words too slurred.

"I haven't been this drunk since my college years."

Amanda laughed far too loudly; you could have sworn she had woken the entire city. "Not-not, my fau-fault you're a lightweight." She replied stumble and slurring her words.

"It is so pretty," Olivia announced as she stared at the dark sky above her.

"What is?" Amanda asked, her eyes closed avoiding the spinning around her.

"The stars," Olivia replied in a whisper.

"What about them?"

"They are so shiny!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Oh my god, you're such a child when you're drunk."

"But they are! Look at them! Look how shiny they are!"

Amanda opened her eyes and looked up at the black sky above her; the stars were shining bright, reminding her the countryside by home. "Yes, so shiny," Amanda replied sounding much more annoyed than she was.

Olivia sat up and looked down at the blonde next to her before getting up and walking over the cooler. Bringing back our bottles of, still surprisingly cold beers with her. "I bought us beers." She announced as she sat back down Indian style.

Amanda sat up as she took the bottle in hand, twisting it open and taking a refreshing sip. "Fuck, it's hot! She yelped.

"Not as hot as you," Olivia whispered into the head of the bottle.

 **Don't forget to leave a comment/review down below, if you'll like more!**


	12. Too Little, Too Late

**AN:** This story was inspired by the latest picture of Dean Winter on set with Mariska during the filming of the first episode of SVU19 recently ( I am sure you have all seen it). Hope you all enjoy it and don't forget to leave a comment/review down below.

* * *

The lavender incense brought a sense of calmness within her. She had no idea why she was nervous, okay that was a lie. She knew exactly why she was nervous, and to her defense, she had every right to feel the way she does. It's been years since they had last spoken since he last stood foot into his old apartment since they have broken up. It wasn't a nasty break up; it was entirely mutual in both ends. They were not in the place in their relationship, she wanted more, and he was content with just how it was. He was always laid back, having a not giving a shit personality, and she wanted more out of life than just her job.

Olivia now found herself, running like a chicken without a head, scrambling to get the apartment cleaned up before his arrival. Noah sat on the couch watching a cartoon on her iPad while she grabbed his toys, placing them in the toy box. She changed into something more casual, comfortable rather than her usual work entire. A v-neck peach color shirt and pair of jeans with casual gym shoes, her hair remained as it; down with a few curls. She had decided to give Noah a quick bath and change him into his shark pajamas. She was putting the last few toys into the toy box that sat on the corner by her television stand when the doorbell rang, and to her surprise, her body shook with nervous. She stood and slowly head towards the door, her hands running down the side of her pants, removing the sweat and nervous from her. Olivia stopped her track and turned walk back towards Noah; she removed the iPad from him shutting it off at the same time. She chuckled at the disapproving look on his face as leaned in to give him a quick peck on his cheek.

"Be nice to mommy's friend, Noah."

Noah nodded his head in reply and watched his mother make her way towards the front door. Olivia took a deep breath as she slowly turned the door knob. She opened the door wide, and her brown eyes lay onto the pair of blue eyes staring right at her with a spark in them, it was the same spark that she remembered long ago when they were together. "Brian, glad you can make it! Come on it." She stepped to the side, allowing Brian to walk into his old apartment. Quickly, he began to look at his former place. Every had changed, old pictures replaced with framed photos of a little boy with a big smile.

"Nice place you got here." He charmed.

"Uh, thanks. A lot has changed since.."

"Ya, I see that. And who is this?" Brian asked as he stepped closer to the young boy who sat quietly on the couch.

Olivia sat next to Noah, lifting him up onto her lap, her fingers brushing his soft brown locks "This is Noah, my son. Noah this is my friend Brian."

"Hey, there kid."

"Hi," Noah whispered, his face turning into his mother's chest.

"He usually isn't this shy." Olivia chuckled. " I am going to take him to his room."

Brian nodded, he carefully watched Olivia take her son into her arms. Something inside him became warm at the sight of Olivia's gentle way with Noah. The way her fingers caressed his little brown locks, her lips falling on the top of his head as he snuggled his head deep into her neck. "You know where the fridge is, help yourself." She added, her head nudging over to the kitchen.

A few moments later, Olivia quietly walked out the living. She stood for a second by the kitchen, her eyes studying the man at sat her new couch. He led back to it, and his back was straight up, it was unlike him to sit so correctly, but then again this was only longer his home. Olivia inhaled deeply once again, counting to ten as she exhaled, her nervous once again creeping up against her will.

"Nice to see you made your self-comfortable." She said announcing her presence as she sat the other end of the couch.

"You look good, Liv."

Olivia blushed, "Well, you don't look so bad yourself."

Brian chuckled, "I've been working out."

Olivia laughed softly, " Oh yeah, I can tell." She chuckled. " How's IAB treating you?"

"IAB is IAB; you know how it is." He replied, his hands fidging with each other.

"Ya, well I appreciate you taking the time to help us with the case. We couldn't have done it without your help."

Brian lowered his head, "You know, I've been thinking about you..a lot."

Widen eye, Olivia swallows hard, unsure of what to say next. Her eyes focus on the coffee table.

"The night we ended, you asked me if I pictured myself growing old with you, having kids with you. And I gave you some bullshit excuse, but I did. I wasn't ready for that yet.."

Brian sighs deeply; his eyes too focused on the coffee table in front of him. Cracking his fingers, "I've always wanted to grow old with you. And I still do."

"Brian." Olivia chimed in, " what you and I had years ago was fantastic, great and unique. You were there at one of my lowest, you helped me up, and I will forever be grateful for everything that you had done."

Brian eyes lit up and focused back at Olivia who was too now looking at him, slowly he scooted closer to the brunette that sat on the other side. A small smile appears face, "I will always be there."

"Good, because I don't want to lose you as a friend. I am in a different place in my life; everything has changed. I have moved on from what we had, but I can't bear to lose you as a friend. You mean too much to me."

Olivia watched his facial expression turn into a sudden frown, his eyes lowered and shifted away from hers. " A lot has changed.."

The sudden sounds of the front door unlocking and opening stopped Olivia from finishing what she was saying, both Brian and her eyes quickly shifted to the front door. Amanda walked in pushing the stroller into the living room, kicking the front door with her foot. Her blue eyes focused on the food she was holding trying not to drop it, "Sorry, I am late but the Chinese restaurant messed up our order, and I tried calling but –" Amanda became speechless, her eyes finally lifted to spot a casual looking Brian sitting on the chocolate color couch. "Hi.," she said awkwardly.

Brian headed turned from Olivia and back to the confused blonde a couple of times before it clicked in him. He smiled, " I get it."


	13. Hawks

**AN:** Didn't have chance to edit, excuse any errors that you may find. Don't be shy to leave a comment/review down below. Enjoy, and the same disclaimer applies.

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Her back pressed against the warm blanket that cover her queen size bed and her head laid on the fluffy white pillow as her brown hair spread acrossed it. Brown eyes were shut as her breathing was steady and soft. Her left hand laid flat on the bare skin of her stomach, while her right arm held Noah tightly, his body too laid in the same position as she. He held a little plush shark toy on his right hand that he held closed to his heart on his chest. His breathing matching his mother's with added soft snores as he slept for his afternoon nap. It was a warm Sunday in July, it was perfect outside. Not too hot with a hint of breeze, perfect for day at the park. Noah and his mother spent most of the morning playing at the park, walking down Central Park, and grabbing a hotdog from the hotdog vendor. It was so much of a good day that Olivia even allowed Noah to have some pop! And now early afternoon exhausted from a very playful morning, it was a much needed nap time for the both of them.

Olivia's was woken by the ringing of her phone, she slowly removed her left arm from Noah, sliding it off him as she slowly sat up. Her eyes squinting at the brightness that came through her window. Quickly grabbing her phone from her bedstand, not wanting to wake her son up. "Benson." She whispered as she slowly got out of bed, walking towards her bedroom door.

"Sorry to bother but we got a update on the case, it won't take long just need to go over a few things with you."

The brunette sighed deeply as she nodded her head, "yeah, okay.. I'll get there soon as I can. Thanks Fin."

Olivia stepped out of the elevator doors, walking in a quick pace towards the squad room. She haven't had time to change clothes, she wore her light blue skinny jeans with her white low van shoes and red shirt,with her hair up in ponytail. She was getting a few stares from other detectives and passing victims and families, not use to seeing the lieutenant in her casual wear.

"Fin, what's up?" She hollered as she walked into squad room with keys and phone in hand.

Fin's eyebrows raised as a smirk appeared on his face when his brown eyes landed in the older woman who stood a foot away from him. He chuckled softly, "I never realized you betrayed the Knicks for the Hawks."

"What?" Olivia asked her head tilted in confusion.

"Your shirt."

Olivia looked down and the sudden wave of embarrassment washed over her. Her cheeks turned red and heat crawled up the back of her neck. "I,uh-I didn't have time to change." She mumbled.

"Hawks, that's an Atlanta team..spending some time with Amanda,huh?"

"Well, since Lucy watches Jesse now, she stops by in the morning and after work."

"Right, does she spend the night,too?" Fin asked playfully.

"Did you call me down to criticize my wardrobe, or was there a new lead on the case?"


	14. Bar

**Rating:** T

 **Tumblr Prompt:** "Can we pretend I didn't just say that?"

* * *

"Oh my god, he actually said that?"

Olivia nodded still laughing, tears running down her cheeks. "Yes, it was awful. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him."

Amanda laughed at the story Olivia share with her, it was about this lawyer tried to pick her up using the worst pick-up lines that Olivia had to stay and see how far he would go with it. They were at a new bar filled with college students, sharing drinks and enjoying the not too horrible music. They were three shots in and on their second round of beers, so they were feeling pretty good. They started hanging out a lot more after their undercover at the clinic as a lesbian couple, it had seemed to spark something inside Olivia. Not that the blonde was complaining, but it took her to surprise when Olivia had asked her to enjoy her for drinks soon after the case was over, and carried on after other cases. It had now turned into a ritual for them to hang out together on the weekends they had off, rather it had been having drinks or watching movies at each other places.

Amanda sat next to the woman she had crushed on, a straight girl crush. Her head turned to the right, she watched Olivia brush her loose brown strand of hair behind her ear as the other brought her beer towards her lips, noticing the pink tongue sticking out every slightly in such tease. Her eyes were closed as she swayed to the beat of the music that echoed around them.

Maybe it was the liquid courage, or maybe it was this pathetic crush or both, but she couldn't help herself but lean closer to the older woman. Her right arm sliding behind Olivia, resting on her chair. "You're so sexy" she whispered into her ear.

Olivia froze, she slowly turned her head to face Amanda. Their face and lips inches away from each other but yet so close to feeling each other's hot breath. "What?" She mumbled in surprise.

Amanda snapped into sobriety from the simple question and pulled away from Olivia. Mentally cursing to herself. "Can we pretend I didn't just say that?" she begged, her blue eyes refusing to look at brown eyes that burned her. It was now Amanda's turn to freeze, Olivia's arm snaked around the up of her back, resting on her chair. Chills rolled down her spine at the hot breath against her ear, the white lilac scent that filled her lungs and hazed her mind.

"Now, why would we do that?" Olivia asked huskily.

Gravity had turned on her or some force of nature made her turn her head to face the older woman. Terrified blue eyes met lustful brown eyes as their lips drew closer towards each other. "Kiss me," Olivia whispered. This was all that Amanda needed, permission to taste the lips that dreamt of every night. Closing the little gap between them, Amanda captured Olivia's poison lips and finally taste her sweet toxic.


	15. Morning Conversations

**Rating: T**

 **A/N:** This was gifted to me by my friend, Ryan. He gave me permission to post and share it to all of you. Thank you Ryan, for this fluffy drabble!

 **Again, I did not write this drabble, it was gifted to me :D**

* * *

Olivia laughed, shaking her head as Amanda jumped a few times, trying (and failing) to get the bowls they needed down from the cabinets.

'Do you need some help?' Olivia teased, putting on her best 'baby voice'.

Amanda glared halfheartedly.

'I wouldn't _need_ help if you didn't put things on the top shelf like a heathen.' Amanda huffed.

'Amanda, i'm literally one inch taller than you. This shouldn't be a problem.' Olivia laughed, but Amanda just rolled her eyes, then looking down at the counter, like she was considering something.

Olivia stepped back from the fridge to come help her, but then Amanda grabbed the edge of the counter and with one soft grunt she swung her leg up, knee pressing harshly into the marble for leverage as she looked up, grabbing onto the cabinet and then hauling herself onto the counter, on her knees.

'Amanda you're gonna break your neck-' Amanda shut her up, waving her hand in her direction.

'I got this.' She threw over her shoulder, grabbing down two bowls as the recipe demanded.

And then Amanda lightly dropped off of the counter, landing on her feet, shutting the cabinet as soon as she hit the ground.

'I could've helped you.' Olivia told her, voice edging on scolding the younger woman.

'Yeah but you would've been laughing at me.' Amanda pointed out, sliding the bowls across the counter.

Olivia considered that, then smiling and shrugging her shoulders.

'True.' She conceded, setting the milk and the carton of eggs on the counter beside the bowls.

'I knew it.' Amanda murmured as she passed, which got another laugh from Olivia.

'Okay uh…damn.' Olivia muttered under her breath.

'Honey, I forgot the yogurt…aaaaand the strawberries, will you hand me those?' Olivia asked, turning.

Amanda smiled, rolling her eyes.

'You forgot the strawberries…for the strawberry and banana pancakes?' She asked as she opened the fridge again, crouching down to retrieve the items from the bottom drawer.

'Yeah, probably because you kept me up all night.' Olivia snickered, resting her arms on the top of the fridge door, watching Amanda rummage around the drawer fruitlessly.

Amanda paused for a second before continuing.

'Well, I wanted you, and you were hardly even tired, so personally I think it's an injustice that you still ignored me.' Amanda's voice was deadpan, but Olivia could see she was fighting a smile.

Finally, the blonde stood, pushing the drawer shut with her foot.

'Aw c'mon, I didn't want to wake up Jesse and Noah.' Olivia whined childishly, grinning as she shut the door, Amanda dipping around her and setting the items on the counter with the rest.

'You coulda kept me quiet.' Amanda shot over her shoulder.

'Actually, ya know, it wasn't you that I was worried about.' Olivia was sure she smirked when Amanda froze up for a second.

'Ah.' Amanda grinned, not turning to face her as she set the skillet on the stove-top.

'Well…' Amanda turned to face Olivia.

'Sonny and his sugar daddy _are_ gonna watch the kids later…' Amanda trailed off, edge of her mouth quirking up into a small smirk.

Olivia looked at her for a moment before nodding, grin forming on her lips.

'I like the way you think.' Olivia hummed, crossing the floor and pressing a kiss to Amanda's lips.

Amanda chuckled softly into the the brunette's lips.

'I know.'


	16. Vanilla

**Rating: T+**

Olivia awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickling in through the blinds. Though her mind had begun to shed the remaining glimpses of a dream, she kept her eyes shut as she soaked in the warmth of her covers. Sighing contentedly, and then inhaling deeply, she quite easily caught a vanilla-esque scent, filling her lungs with it as flashbacks of the night before played in her still sleepy mind.

It was visions of bare bodies caressing, kissing and tasting every bit of each other. Their skin brushing and pressing flush together. The memories brought with them an acknowledgement of the raw intensity of their love-making - breaths fast, heart rates faster. Almost like a dream.

An intoxicating dream, an aphrodisiacal dream.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking a few times, adjusting to the sun-rays shining through the window. A soft snore brought her further from the sleep-induced haze in her mind. For a moment, she had thought the night before was a mere dream.

She turned her head to where she'd heard the noise come from, and her tired brown eyes found Amanda lying next to her, burrowed deep under her cream covers. The sun-rays bounced off of Amanda's blonde locks, giving her an angel-like glow, hair fanning out on her pillow like a halo.

Olivia dared herself to inch closer to the younger woman, lifting her hands and allowing herself to trace the bare skin of the blonde's arm, which was stretched out next to the woman. Amanda's fingertips were so close to her, and something about the close proximity sent sparks down her spine, the feeling ending and pooling in the pit of her stomach, goosebumps rising on her nude body.

A low moan left Olivia's lips, as she thought back to the night before, remembering those same fingers deep inside her, giving her the greatest pleasure she'd ever received. Olivia remembered the body trembling as she came, experiencing a, dare she say, earth-shattering, orgasm.

She moved a bit further, slowly shifting a little closer, shifting down to meet the fingertips, again daring herself to bring her lips to them, to kiss them. She did, her lips gently kissing the blonde's fingers, and god, she can still taste herself, smell herself on them, and that realization sent a gush of arousal between her thighs.

A pair of piercing, sleepy blue eyes slowly fluttered open, and Olivia pulled away sharply, embarrassed to be found in such an intimate and, well, awkward position. The rays of the morning sun softened the blondes facial features, making her look rather like an innocent child that had just woken from a nap. The corners of the younger woman's lips quirking up into a grin.

"'Liv." Her voice was raspy with sleep. Amanda's blue eyes locked with Olivia's brown, soft but intensity-filled, and another spark shot through the older woman's body, Olivia's eyes shifting away from Amanda's.

She felt the bed shift, and Olivia could feel Amanda's body-heat nearing.

Olivia tried to control, or suppress, the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach, but then, god, that fucking vanilla, cream-like scent once again hit her, sending waves of arousal through her body. Olivia shuddered, shaking slightly, but it wasn't until she felt a small, delicate, warm hand tracing her cold skin did she completely still.

"Look at me." Amanda's voice was insistent, but soft.

Olivia slowly lifted her eyes, realizing that the blonde's own blue eyes hadn't left her. She forced a small smile, and a small chuckle passed her lips.

Here she was, lying next to a beautiful, nude woman, and she was scared. Olivia had never felt so vulnerable. She watched Amanda take the very fingers she had kissed and reach forward, Olivia closing her eyes and leaned into Amanda's gentle touch as said woman pushed her brown lock behind her ear. The delicate fingers traced her jawline, "You're so beautiful." Amanda murmured, and Olivia swore she could've, and might've, cried right then and there.

"You scare me." She finally confessed, her heart beating rapidly.

"Why?"

Olivia once again opened her eyes, and still was greeted with her favorite blue eyes staring at her. Her gaze fell to Amanda's pink, full lips and then shifted back to the blonde's bright, ocean like eyes, losing herself in them.

She licked her dry lips and swallowed the lump in her throat, "Because you make me feel alive."


	17. Sunday Morning

**Rating** : T

Deep in their peaceful slumber, beneath their cotton sheets and purple quilt blanket, they quietly snored, the soft noises echoing the slightest bit in the dark bedroom.

Light rain fell on their window, and the added, calm-inducing ambience was a bliss they hadn't noticed.

Olivia had her arm comfortably around her lover's waist, loosely holding the younger woman, pressed flush against her girlfriend's warm, bare, back. Her eyes slowly opened, vision blurry, the darkness in the bedroom making it seem as though it were the middle of the night.

Gradually her vision cleared, and she searched for the clock on the nightstand across from her, then wincing, the red numbers far too bright for her sleepy eyes.

It was Sunday, and they both had off (many thanks to the two male detectives in their team, offering their Sundays so that Olivia, Amanda, and their tiny ones, could have their family time).

Sunday meant pancake day, and not just any pancakes, oh no, Noah made it known that on pancake day, he gets to decide what type of pancake they were having. He was, after all, the head chef in the kitchen on Sunday mornings.

Olivia hesitated to leave the warm comfort of the bed, and her girlfriend, also not wanting to leave the other woman alone. But, it was pancake day, and Noah would riot if she didn't show.

Placing a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's shoulder, she quickly slid from the covers, moving to stand in the cold air of the bedroom. Shivering, she quickly made across the cold, wooden floor, to the bathroom.

Moving to work quickly, she showered, brushed her teeth, and put her hair up into a ponytail, well within the space of 6 minutes. She dressed in the same manner, not wanting Noah to become impatient and wake Amanda. Seeing as she wasn't going anywhere, she only wore grey sweatpants (Amanda's) and a Knicks shirt that was a little too big, along with her favorite, hot pink, fuzzy socks.

In the doorway, Olivia tossed a longing look over her shoulder, her gaze on the bed, and, well, Amanda.

Said woman remained peacefully asleep; the purple cover was now at her neck. As if sensing Olivia's gaze on her, the blonde curled further under the duvet, a stray strand of blonde hair falling onto her face, but not enough to hide her smile. A soft smile crossed Olivia's lips, and she felt the urge to strip once more and crawl back into bed, but she knew that Noah would never forgive her if they missed pancake day.

Noah wore his red, kid-sized apron that Amanda had bought for him, back on his last birthday.

He held a small measuring cup in his right hand and meticulously began to pour the pancake batter into the heated pan. His expression was laced with determination, the seriousness of his job written all over his face, knowing if he were to fail, there would be no pancakes, and therefore, no _worthwhile_ breakfast. In his opinion, of course. "Chocolate chips, please."

"Here you go, Chef." Olivia hummed, handing Noah a small bowl filled with hershey chocolate chips.

Olivia watched her son gently drop a handful of chips on the pancake batter, before it was her turn, as a sous Chef, to flip the pancake. Glancing at the bacon cooking nearby, she looked to Noah, noting that what she was about to ask was...a bit late. "Are you sure you want bacon, Noah? I think the pancakes will be enough."

"I want bacon _with_ my pancakes, silly." Noah explained as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, giggling slightly as he poured the last pancake batter onto the pan. Olivia smiled, nodding with a soft 'ah'. "AND, I'm the Chef." He added, sounding rather proud of the title.

"That's right. Well Chef, our pancakes and bacon are done, so why don't you go ahead and wake Jesse up, while I clean up a little bit of our mess?" Olivia wiped her hands on a rag, mostly because she knew Noah would see it and follow her lead. He was a forgetful child, but aren't they all?

Noah stepped down from his 'Chef steps', "What about mama, mommy?" He asked as he took his steps to the other side of the kitchen, placing it in its designated spot, out of the way.

"What about me?" Amanda asked playfully from her place leant against a wall, having snuck into the kitchen. Her eyes scanned the plates, full of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon.

"Mommy told me to get sissy, so we can eat."

"Mm. Well lucky for you, Jesse will be here in a minute, she's just in the bathroom. Why don't you go wash your hands, and I'll help mommy set up the table?"

"Okay, mama!"

They enjoyed their breakfast. The mixture of sweet from the pancakes, to the saltiness from the bacon, was the perfect combination.

The rolling thunder had become louder, scaring little Jesse, and she had let out a loud yell, nearly dropping her fork in the process.

"What's that noise?" Noah asked, eyes wide, even as he rested a hand on Jesse's shoulder in comfort.

"Oh, that's just God and his angels playing bowling. That's why you hear the rolling and then the loud boom! That's the pins falling down." Olivia explained animatedly.

Noah's bright blue eyes went from Olivia to Amanda, "Yeah, buddy. They're bowling up there! And maybe if the rain stops, we can go bowling too! What do you say?"

"Okay!"

And with a big smile, Noah threw his arms around Jesse in a hug, relaying to her excitedly that the loud noise was just God and his angels bowling, and even though she'd heard the same as he had, she still let him. Even she seemed to know how much Noah liked being a big brother.

Then, he pulled back with a giggle, turning his attention to his breakfast, practically bouncing out of his seat in excitement. Amanda and Olivia caught each other's eye, their fingers intertwining. They smiled at each other sweetly, as their hands squeezed. It was the simplest 'I love you' gesture known to man.

And then Jesse squealed.

Frannie had gotten one of her bacon slices and then made a break for the living room.

Amanda chuckled, rolling her eyes, knowing her daughter had fed the canine the bacon.

"Jesse, stop giving Frannie your food. You're so skinny that people are going to think that I don't feed you." She poked at her daughters belly, Jesse giggling and batting at Amanda's hand.

"Mama, you're silly!" Noah chimed, grinning.

"She's silly, huh? And what about me-" Olivia reached over, tickling Noah's sides, laughing with him as he twisted, grabbing for her wrists.

"Mommy, stop!" Noah laughed.

They sat on the couch watching the newest episode of MasterChef Junior. Noah and Jesse sat between Olivia and Amanda, Jesse curled up in Noah's side, taking her first nap of the day.

Noah was engrossed in the show, not at all bothered by Jesse at his side, arm around her, huge smile adorning his face.

Amanda's fingers ran through Jesse's blonde locks, eyes shifting away from the little girl for a moment, and to Olivia instead, who was staring at her. They couldn't help smiling at each other, suppressing the urge to lean into what would be an awkward kiss, what with Noah between them, but instead they mouthed 'I love you' to each other, which would be enough for now.

They were pulled from the moment, however, when Noah tugged at Olivia's sleeve, calling for her attention, wanting her to watch his favorite little Chef on screen as she had her food rated by the head Chef.

Sunday morning are not often quiet, or even perfect, but on this rainy Sunday, it was more than perfect.


	18. Mine

**Rating: M**

Goosebumps rose beneath Olivia's delicate touch. Her hand ran up Amanda's bare leg, landing on her lover's hip. her fingers digging into the blonde's skin in claim.

A soft moan left Amanda's lips as Olivia pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the blonde's neck, groaning the slightest bit at the feeling of the other woman's pulse throbbing against her lips. Olivia grinned at the hitch in Amanda's breath when she allowed her tongue to trace the pulsing vein, leisurely breathing in the sweet scent of Amanda's perfume.

The mix of vanilla and lavender drove her insane- always had. Before Amanda, Olivia hadn't known it possible to be so...eh, for lack of a better word, _aroused_.

Olivia groaned when fingernails lightly scraped her scalp, deft, thin fingers tangling in her dark brown locks, Amanda bringing her closer with a low whine.

Olivia responded to the encouragement, gently biting at Amanda's neck, nipping the skin. A soft moan left Amanda's lips, encouraging Olivia further as the older woman's tongue skillfully lapped at the mark.

Olivia moved away from the blonde's neck, kissing up her jaw, before her lips found Amanda's. The kiss was chaste, interesting when considering what happened next. Amanda's arms wrapped around her, the younger woman's fingertips tracing along Olivia's spine. Amanda pulled Olivia close for another kiss, this one far more heated, tongues tangling in a heated battle for dominance.

Olivia leaned back a little bit, grabbing Amanda's wrists and pinning her lover's arms above her head, pinning them there. Her own brown eyes locked with Amanda's blue, and Olivia knew right away that she'd won. And with that knowledge, a smirk crossed her face, Amanda shivering beneath her at the near _predatory_ look.

Olivia's ground down against her girlfriend, holding the blonde's gaze.

"Your hips" Her voice was nearly a whisper. A moment later, her lips had once again claimed those of the woman beneath her, relishing in the sweet, strawberry flavor of her lover's chapstick.

"Your lips," She breathed as she pulled away. "They're mine."

"'Liv..." Amanda groaned softly, head falling back into the pillow. Her back arched, hips canting up with a moan when she felt Olivia lick a hot stripe up her neck. " _Fuck_ " Amanda moaned, eyes closing.

"You're mine." She husked.

Amanda trembled at the sudden feeling of Olivia's knee caressing her wet core, gently stroking her throbbing center. " _Fuck...ugh, 'Liv_ ", Amanda breathed out shakily.

Olivia's lips roughly captured Amanda's own, Amanda whimpering into the kiss, feeling the fingers wrapped around her wrist tightening at the noise, surely leaving a mark. "I'm yours." Amanda murmured into the kiss, her teeth sinking into Olivia's bottom lip, pulling gently for a moment.

Olivia pulled away for breath, her dark, hungry brown eyes holding Amanda's gaze. After a moment, Olivia let go of Amanda's wrists, giving Amanda one last smirk before shifting herself down, between the younger woman's legs. The younger woman who so _readily_ , so _generously_ spread her thighs for Olivia.

Olivia allowed her eyes to flutter closed, inhaling the sweet, musky scent of her lover's heated core, an almost growl-like noise leaving her throat. Amanda shuddered.

Olivia's dark eyes lifted and met with Amanda's piercing blue. She grinned the smallest bit, her hands caressing Amanda's smooth stomach as they slowly, almost torturously slowly, traveled down to her lover's core, never breaking their gaze. Her fingertips sent electric shocks sparking beneath Amanda's skin, Amanda squirming the slightest bit when those fingers traced her wet slit, Olivia smiling at the soft moan she got in response.

"Say it." Olivia demanded, tongue dragging up Amanda's heated, nearly dripping core.

 _"I'm yours."_


	19. Night Before

**Rating:** T for language

She winced a little bit at the cold tile beneath her bare feet, goosebumps patterned across her skin.

She stood in front of her bathroom sink, nude, shockingly dull blue eyes staring intensely at the mirror in front of them, searching for something. Searching for what she'd lost a mere few hours ago. The time passed seemed daunting, and muddled. Like she hadn't even gone through it herself.

Maybe what she was searching for- _what wasn't there any longer, might never be again_ \- was hope. She wasn't entirely sure, but Amanda wasn't Amanda anymore.

Water dripped from her body, trailing down into a small puddle at her feet. Her right hand lifted to her right cheek, fingers gently tracing the purple bruise that had formed there. She could still feel the cold metal, the gun...her cheek felt ice cold, _she_ felt ice cold.

She clenched her eyes shut and lowered her head, shoving away the memories as her hands gripped the sides of the sink, knuckles white, hands shaking, _she_ was shaking. Sighing deeply, Amanda chucked to herself...what the _fuck_ did she do?

After what seemed an eternity, she reached out for the towel that she knew hung on the nearby rack, wrapping herself in the soft purple material. Running her hand through her wet locks, her piercing blue eyes stared right back at her, _laughing_ at her, _mocking_ her. The voices yelled and screamed in her head, reminding her just how much of a fuck up she was.

 _Weak_.

She knew it.

Amanda knew she was weak and pathetic. Old habits crawling through her skin like venom.

A break up, of all things, causing her to stumble back and fall into hell itself, a pit with no bottom, a free-fall was she. The neon lights, cigarette smoke and hard liquor was the only thing she needed, the only thing she knew in order to get through the days. And the nights. And everything in-between.

Well...there were worse things. People, more like. A person.

Spending every waking moment in the same building, same car, and, hell, even crossing paths on the way to the bathroom made her just about ready to crawl out of her own skin.

Those dark brown eyes that would stare, trying to read her like she was a book to be picked up and then tossed aside once the words had been read, once the secrets the pages held had been aired out. That _fucking_ gaze, clearly holding a myriad of questions that the host daren't ask.

Amanda wouldn't let herself be open in such a way ever again, wouldn't let herself think, and yet, she stood in front of her mirror, wrapped in a towel, wishing that Olivia was there to hold her and kiss her self-pity away.

Gambling was her vice, her escape from being at the older woman's side, hell, in her near vicinity.

The stench of stale cigarettes ensured the removal of every last wisp of rose scented perfume that she'd inevitably inhaled throughout the day.

She needed to throw her mind and body into anything to remove herself from her own head, and the blackjack table was where she found peace.

But, well, that was until she was founded as a cop in an illegal underground gambling. Then, she was forced to use her 'special skills' to fix any problem of the owner's, or else it was her job or, her life. And truth be told, Amanda could have cared less about her life, worthless as it was. But oh, she took pride in her job and losing her badge- and not to mention Olivia's respect- was something she couldn't handle.

And now, she was to face her Sergeant, and her former lover, after finally taking down the gambling operation with a fellow officer, Lieutenant Murphy. She was lucky that he'd saved her and put her undercover instead of turning her in. Maybe he had a few vices of his own, maybe drugs or even hookers, who knew, but Amanda was forever grateful for Murphy treating her with such respect, rather than like she was a lost child.

She only wished, hoped, and prayed to the God that she didn't believe in, that Olivia Benson would do the same.


	20. Lap

**Rating: M**

She walked out slowly from the bedroom, closing the door silently behind her. Clicks from a keyboard could be heard coming from the office down the hall. It was past midnight, and Amanda had finally finished her shower, her hair slightly damp after a few rubs from her towel that she had discarded somewhere in the bedroom.

Her right side leaned against the wooden door as her ear pressed against it, listening to the fast clicking of the keyboard and loud sighs coming from the other side. Amanda was tired, but she didn't want to go bed alone and cold. She needed Olivia's arm around her slender body to cling to like a teddy bear or blankie. Without much hesitation, she pushed the door slightly open and slowly stepped into the room where Olivia sat in front of her, at a large desk staring at the bright computer screen.

"I know you're in here."

Amanda smiled in response as her blue eyes watched the chair spin around, her gaze meeting Olivia's tired brown eyes. She stood still, feeling her lover's eyes grazing her body, tracing the covers that she displayed like connecting the dots. She wore only her own Nirvana shirt that had been turned into a crop top and black cotton thong. The way Olivia looked at her, eyes darkening with lust, made her stomach flip and cheeks red. She was never a shy one, no, but right now at this very moment, the predatory look at the older woman was giving her, bottom lip between her teeth and glasses perched on her nose, she felt like a virgin schoolgirl.

"C'mere, you can sit in my lap until I'm done working." Olivia breathed out in a whisper as her hand extended towards the blonde as an invitation.

She took in the waiting hand, the warm touch on top of her cold skin was more intense than she imagined. The feel in the air had shifted, thicker and much hotter than it was when she first walked into the room. Amanda walked toward the brunette as she was guiding her.

Her feet dangled over the computer chair arm as she sat comfortably on Olivia's lap. Goosebumps crawled up her leg as Olivia ran her hand up and down in caressing matter, an attempt to warm up the blonde as her other hand typed away at the keyboard. "You smell so good" she husked onto the warm skin before replacing her nose with her lips, gently kissing the delicate heated spot along the side of Olivia's neck.

"I could say the same about you." Olivia teased with an amused chuckle. "Lavender," she added as she turned her head towards the blonde, and captured her lips into a kiss.

"Your favorite." Amanda murmured between the kiss as her fingers wrap around the back of Olivia's neck, burying deep in the hair at its base, tugging their mouths together.

Amanda tried to calm her racing heart, but it was pointless. Feeling Olivia's tongue slip into her mouth claiming her own was like an erotic dancer. Her stomach quivered at the touch of Olivia's fingertips on her belly, her fingernails scratching down along her skin before teasing the hem of her thong as their tongue danced.

Olivia smiled into the kiss, making Amanda send a low moan to vibrate between them as her legs were widened, one placed on top of the forgotten work desk. Her fingertips were feeling up the creamy inner thighs of shaking blonde. Olivia broke their kiss, their heavy breathing in sync, along with their rapid heartbeats. Her nose nuzzled against Amanda's neck, inhaling the intoxicating lavender scent mixed with arousal that had quickly grown between their heated kiss. Amanda's chest was rising and falling rapidly in desperation. Her eyes shut, feeling Olivia's lips against her neck, planting delicate kisses.

Olivia's fingers reached their goal, the now wet dark patch between Amanda's thighs. Her hand slipped down, quickly feeling at the silky wetness against her fingers. Her middle finger traced the wet slit, gaining her a low moan from the blonde. She smiled proudly, and began to draw circles against the erect clit. "Hmm, is this what you wanted, baby?" she asked teasingly.

All Amanda could do was nod in response, her teeth sinking into bottom lip as the older woman's circles quickened and hardened in each rotation. " _Liv"_ she croaked, " _please."_

Olivia's tongue traced along the shell of Amanda's ear, nibbling lightly at it before claiming the lobe in her mouth, tugging gently. "Yes, baby?" she hummed her hot breath against Amanda's neck.

"In….. _fuck.._ inside."

"Like this?" she asked huskily as she slid her finger inside.

Amanda arched her back, letting a low groan past her dry lips. "M-more."

She moaned feeling two extra fingers slip inside her, filling her up. Her hip bucked down hard on Olivia's fingers as they curved inside of her. How easily Olivia felt her g-spot with little effort, as she slowly began pulsing motions, up and down ever so slowly. Amanda moaned in response to the deepest part of each thrust of her lover's fingers, each moan becoming weaker.

Amanda panted and gasped for air, her eyes still shut. She could feel Olivia's smile against her neck, her hot breath tickling against her warm skin. " _Livvv…"_

"I can feel you, baby."

Olivia's pace quickened and started to become tougher with each thrust as her thumb circled Amanda's clit. This action alone sent the blonde over the edge. Her body nearly hanging off the desk chair as she rolled her hips up and down, riding Olivia's fingers. "So close," she panted.

"Come for me.."

Amanda cried out in satisfaction and slight surprise when she felt an immense heat envelope her, and a wet orgasm shoot out of her for the first time. It was different than her usual orgasms. It was amazing, and earth shattering. She fell back onto Olivia's embrace, realizing her body had arched up to compensate for the intense orgasm. Sweat rolled down the sides of her face as she closed her eyes and caught her breath, the after-shocks of her orgasm rolling over her.

"Now, I can sleep."


	21. Untitled

_Touch your lips just so I know_

 _In your eyes, love, it glows so_

 _I'm bare-boned and crazy for you_

Work had always blinded Olivia, and now with Noah on top of her many duties that ran through head every single day from the moment, she wakes up until the moment her head hits her pillow. The undivided attention she had always given to others, the personal satisfaction of knowing she had healed someone in one shape or form, giving them another chance of love.

Love.

Love had never come easy, it was always a challenge and a game that she had grown she tired of playing. Olivia had loved, and she had lost, but she'd also fallen into the hole of lust that disguised as love.

Brown eyes followed the strong jawline that guided them to the pink-stained lips, the teeth that had now sunk on the bottom lip. The symphony played in the background of her lost dream as she watched the bubble gum tongue stick out in a tease, maybe, licking the very lips Olivia urged to taste.

Maybe it was a dream, she thought. The sun streamed through her window, giving Amanda a soft angelic glow, her brown eyes squinting at the brightness that bounced off the blonde hair.

Olivia's fingertips spread and inched closer unexpectedly on her side. The red painted fingernails, the tips of the fingers that rested next to her.

She had to touch her.

Closer, she thought. All she had to do was move an inch closer, and their fingertips would connect into one. The thought of that alone sent an electric shock through her. The ball of energy mixed fear and lust... or was it, love?

Her breath hitched and her heart stopped at the sight of the blue eyes that had turned to stare at her. The playful sparkle in them matched the very pink lips that had curved into a playful smile. The ocean blue gloss that searched into her brown, the silences were taunting her. Her heartbeat thudded louder with every transparent beat and every moment the blue eyes longed into her own.

Please, she begged herself. The poor game of her desire had become too much.

She smiled back, finally. And her fingertips inched closer.

The moment felt forever. A long-standing dream, heaven she never felt.

She moaned to herself when she felt the pure softness, the skin her fingers gently caressed like a porcelain doll.

It felt like clouds. Soft and delicate.

Their eyes dropped to their hands. The subtle touch of their fingers tingling across their warm skin, goosebumps that had created a trail deep within them. Dry mouths craved for something sweet that only their lips could quench.

Her breathing quickened again; the now dark blue orbs penetrated her without sympathy. It was nearly impossible for her brown eyes not to fall to the very lips that teased her earlier.

Her mouth moved but no words came out, the buzzing in her ears making it difficult to hear anything at all. Olivia's stomach bubbled, she felt sick, nauseous. But all she could do was get lost in the lips that stared at her, pink and dry, needing quenching from her very own, she thought and hoped.

Was she reading everything wrong? Was this all in her fucking head, her loneliness driving her mad?

Possibly.

Her eyes lifted to meet once again the blue that never left, waiting for her to connect with them. Lust was hovering over them now. Olivia's body begged her to move, the slightest inch and their lips would meet. It was all it took, only a tiny inch that seemed like miles as their fingers played with each other.

Amanda turned her head slightly, and her lips waiting for Olivia's. Blue eyes fluttered shut slowly as she inched closer. The television that played in the background of her home was muffled into nothing.

Vanilla mixed with lavender and she sharply inhaled deep before letting out a shaky breath. Her eyes drifted down to Amanda's lips, savoring the moment. She leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. Dear god, she couldn't fight against the thoughts that were going through her. Her very smell was flooding her senses now, and with one last shaky breath…

Their lips finally united together, pressing her plump, velvety lips against Amanda's slimmer, warm ones, dancing around and soon bonding together. Amanda's insistent mouth parted her trembling lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, inflicting sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. Then, Amanda kissed her back, the kiss getting deeper, more profound than all the galaxies in the universe. Her vanilla lips imprinted themselves on her like a footprint in the snow, forging a sense of exoticism and roguery.

They pulled back; their foreheads remind still, their hands still locked as one. Her eyes leisurely began to open, eyelids relaxed as she slowly sucked in the cool air. Amanda looked at her, ripping into her bare soul with her blue eyes. Olivia looked back, breathless and longing as she sat with heart soaring dizzily as a lazy smile curled upon her lips.

'You taste...' she husked against the smooth awaiting lips.

Another kiss, and Olivia drunk with the taste of strawberry and the intoxicating scent of her heaven. Her hand rested below Amanda's ear, her thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled.

Without realizing her thumb moved lowered towards the swollen lips that her eyes had fallen to, lost once again. Dragging her thumb across the bottom lip, smiling still feeling Amanda's heart stop for one precious moment, listening to the breath hitch in ecstasy much like hers.

 _'You taste…'_ she whispered.

 _'Liv..."_

Her eyes lifted meeting with blue eyes that searched desperately for hers, the lust matching her own.

 _"like forever..."_


End file.
